I’m not quite sure where to start with this story so I guess the beginning is the best.

If you read the entries a few weeks ago, you might have seen that I had bronchitis.  I healed fairly quickly from this after a few days of rest at home and a bunch of antibiotics.  I spent my days at home working, since I have the luxury of dialing in to work, which was nice because I could recover at my own pace and still not miss much work.

The drawback to that was I actually spent entire days and hours sitting in the same spot on my couch, legs propped on the recliner, laptop on my lap, plugging away and only getting up for potty and food breaks.

I also spend my days at work in front of a computer, rarely getting up because I get lost in work and tasks.  I go potty, I get food and I move to tuck one of my legs underneath me.

Cut to the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, the day we were leaving to drive to Pennsylvania to visit Steve’s family for the holidays.  My left leg started cramping, almost like I had a charley horse in my calf or a cramp in my foot.  I was no stranger to cramps like this and I just thought my shoes were tight or I had been sitting for too long.  So I ended up in the bathroom, sitting on the floor with my legs stretched out in front of me, shoes off, pants bottoms rolled up, using the marble floor as a sort of ice pack.

My toes were tingling a bit and the cramping but it would go away after awhile.  I’d get up and make my way back to my desk and then it would start up all over again.  By the time I got off work, it was still there and I knew we had a trip to go on that evening so I had to get over it.  I ran into the house and told Steve to give me fifteen minutes to take a bath because I figured if I could just get my feet warm, the cramps would clear up.

The exact opposite happened.  My toes actually felt a bit numb and the cramps didn’t go away.  But I still just thought my legs were cramping from my shoes.  It felt like shin splints and a charley horse and a foot cramp wrapped into one.  So I rested for a few and we got on the road and surprisingly, when I drove, the cramp seemed to clear up.

It wasn’t that bad the week that we were up at Steve’s parents though it was still there.  The top tendions connecting my foot and ankle hurt and pulled when I walked for extended periods of time, like I had overextended them.  My calf was still cramping.  But I was able to function somewhat.  I just kept popping the ibuprofen and elevating my leg and alternating ice and heat.

By the time we got back in South Carolina, the leg was still sore.  I returned to work on Tuesday and realized that my foot was really hurting me, especially the top.  And by Wednesday night, all the pain was concentrated in the top of my foot and it was so tender.  At this point, it felt like I had broken something.  Plus, there was a distinct red spot on the top of my foot.  And the next morning, when I woke up, my foot was stiff and hurt so much I could barely walk.

I knew it was time to have a doctor look at it and I needed it done that moment, so I packed everything for work, including my makeup (I figured I’d put it on once things got cleared up and I headed to work) and headed back to Urgent Care for the second time in a month.

The doctor took a quick look and decided we needed to do a CBC, an x-ray and something called a d-dimer.  The CBC and x-ray would check for cellulitis and bone infection and the d-dimer would check for the presence of a blood clot.  She told me that she thought it was only cellulitis, which would be easily treatable with antibiotics, but that she wanted to rule out all possibilities.

An hour or so later, the CBC and x-ray came out clean but the d-dimer came out kind of high so she decided I needed to be sent for an ultrasound.  I was starting to get a bit scared at this point but didn’t want to panic anyone until I knew for sure, so I loaded myself into the car and drove a few miles to the Imaging office.  The tech met me there and spent the next hour or so looking up and down my left leg.  She really scared me a bit because she was concerned that she couldn’t see or hear a pulse in the artery that it supposed to run in the back of your ankle.  So she sent me back over to the doctor to determine the course of action from there.

I have two blood clots in my left leg – one is in one of the deeper major veins (DVT) and the other is in a smaller vein.  The doctor asked me to call someone to be there with me so that I could start making some decisions calmly.  They were concerned about being unable to find the pulse in the artery so they needed to send me to a vascular surgeon to be checked out before deciding whether I needed to be admitted the hospital.

So I told Steve and called my mom.  I wanted Steve there with me but one of us needed to be at work and bring in some income, at least while we were still in the diagnosis stage.  So my mom met me there and we headed over to the surgeon’s office.

From there, he decided not to admit me because the treatment could be done at home.  He checked the artery and found the pulse – it just wasn’t as present because of the swelling in my leg.  But he did confirm that the two blood clots were there and that we needed to start treatment immediately to insure that they didn’t break loose and end up in my lungs or my heart.

So, since Thursday evening I’ve pretty much been laid up.  I have two states – walking with a limp in pain around the house or sitting on the couch with my legs elevated.  And sleeping.  I’ve been doing lots of sleeping when I can.  They started me on shots of Lovonax, twice a day in my stomach that my mother has been doing.  I had to get a pregnancy test on Friday to make sure that the Coumadin they wanted to start me on wasn’t going to interfere with that (NOT pregnant, thank god!).  Both Coumadin and Lovanox are blood thinners which means I have to be careful about bumping into things, shaving, scratching myself, etc.  I’m on Augmentin to fight off any kind of infection.  And Darvoset for the pain, which I don’t like but almost need at this point because my foot and leg hurts constantly.

I was out of work Thursday and Friday.  I’ll most likely be out tomorrow since I have to go back and get my blood redrawn so they can adjust my Coumadin levels.  I’m hoping by Tuesday I’ll be able to work from home and be off the shots. I’m hoping by Tuesday the pain will at least have subsided a bit.

The worst part about this is the needles.  Between the blood draws and being stuck with needles twice a day, that whole fear of needles thing isn’t working out too well for me.  I’ve actually developed a system that lets me take the shots fairly well.  But the pain, oh the PAIN that ensues from the Lovonax going into my system.  People, it burns so bad!  And you can’t rub it or anything.  It’s excruciating for a good ten or twenty minutes after the shot.

There’s a lot of things in my life that could have caused this.  I work an office job and sit at my desk all day.  I almost always sit on one of my legs.  I smoke (though, I haven’t had a cigarette in a week and am resolving to keep it that way).  I’m on birth control pills.  I was sick and pretty much sedentary for that week leading up to this.  And I spent close to thirty hours in the car over a period of four or five days.

So I need to get over this hurdle of breaking up the clots and getting the pain to go away.  I’m doing ok.  I’m hurting a lot, both physically and emotionally.  I can’t help but blame myself for this and be upset because life has sort of been put on hold.  I’m mad because my sole focus needs to be on making myself better and things are just falling to the wayside.  I have bills to pay, Christmas presents to buy.  I wanted to put up Christmas decorations but I can’t even stand long enough to do that.  Plus, I hate being a burden to both Steve and my mother.  I’ve always been an independant person and while I’ve learned over the years that sometimes you have to ask for help, I still feel like there’s limits.

Monday I go back to get my blood drawn and see if the Coumadin has kicked in.  If it has, I should be able to get off the shots, which is my first goal.  From there, they’ll still need to adjust it over the course of a few weeks and I’ll still have to take it easy.  My doctor is talking about me being out of work for at least a week, which I think will be ok as long as I can work from home.  Beyond that, I’ll have to stay on the Coumadin probably for six months or so, be fitted for compression stockings (so stylish!) and rethink certain choices in my life.  (I also had my cholesterol tested and while it’s not as high as my brother’s, it’s fairly high, so I’ll have to learn to adjust that accordingly as well)

Right now, we’re taking it one day at a time.  I have to get up and walk around because the worst thing for the clots is being sedentary.  But I also have to balance that because it takes a lot out of me to move around. I have a hard time sleeping at night because my foot hurts no matter what position I lay in.  The Coumadin and the Darvoset make me sleepy (and a bit loopy).  I just sort of feel out of it generally.  It’s a lot of work, a lot of pain (my stomach is so sore from all the shots) and very, very scary.

But I’m thankful we caught in time to treat it.  And I’m grateful I have so many supportive people in my life.  My mom and Steve have been amazing in taking care of me.  And I have wonderful friends and family who have called with their concerns and to offer their best wishes and to come help.

Right now, I’m just focusing day to day and trying to get through.  I’m having a hard time making any plans beyond that because I don’t know how I’m going to be in a few days or weeks.

But I’m here and that’s what matters the most.  I may not be a hundred percent, but I’m here.

And for all of you who may share some of my traits or lifestyle choices: please be aware of this!  I’m young, I’m fairly healthy otherwise, I just had some factors stacked against me that led to this.  If you work in the office or sit for long periods of time, get up and walk around.  If you smoke and take birth control, quit smoking.  Be aware because you know, I never thought it could happen to me.  And it did.

Which means it could happen to you!

I’ll keep you updated.

(And if this post sounds all over the place, sorry, I’m kind of doped up on the pain meds right now!)