Dear Work,

I kind of hate you these days.  I mean, not in a ‘I loathe going to the office’ kind of way.  In a, I’m so overwhelmed with STUPID.SHIT that my head is going to explode.  It amazes me that in the year 2009, we still are MANUALLY processing and maintaining certain very important aspects of our business, three times over.  And to all of you who complain about the fact that I (or we, collectively) are not at your beck and call every hour of every day, deal with it.  You come sit in my shoes and then we’ll talk.

Sincerely,
The Disgruntled IT Go To Girl

Dear Boyfriend,

I am in a bad mood.  I am not mad at you.  I am mad at the world.  I am sorry I’m taking it out on you.  But when I accidentally push the wrong button on the remote, don’t treat me like I am retarded.  And don’t get personal saying that I can’t handle hobbies, something that I am trying to make fun for me, because I don’t have enough patience to deal with a remote.  And when I’m bitching about the mess the dog made, don’t point out the fact that he might need to go to the doctor.  Get off your butt and help me clean up, with something, even if part of the mess isn’t something you want to be dealing with. But thank you for cooking dinner.  It was lovely and delicious.

Lovingly Yours,
Your Crazy Girlfriend

Oh, and Dear DOG!

The whole panties sniffing, tampon eating shit has GOT.TO.STOP! It’s not cute.  It’s disgusting.  It’s fucking weird dude.  It’s not as if I don’t feed you.  And stop going out of your way to make my bathroom look like a fucking massacre.  Do I not pay enough attention to you? I cuddle with you every morning.  I say hi and love you up when I get home from work.  What else do you want? That’s why your ass got a bath – because it’s disgusting and there’s no way I’m going to let you function being that dirty, even if it means taking a cold shower because there’s no hot water left.  Oh, and while we’re out – how about you NOT growl and snap at me while you’re laying in my spot on the bed, as if I invaded your  territory.  I pay the mortgage.  I own the furniture.  That’s why your ass sleeps on the floor.  Butthead!

Patiently Yours,
Your Disgusted Mama