It has taken me all week to work myself out of this …. well, FUNK. I guess that’s the best word for it.

I can’t really point to one exact trigger that put me in such a crappy mood.  Rather, it was a lot of small, stupid things.  A majorly tedious and boring emergency project that was thrust on me at work (that would be completely unneccesary had the software we bought worked properly when we converted FOUR months ago).  The dog being extra mischeivious and getting into crap he’s not supposed to and then the boyfriend berating me for it, as if I’d done it on purpose.  The headaches that are being caused by the stress of everything and the drastic weather (temperature) changes and the fact that I have to suffer through them because I can’t take anything.

I just generally felt like life was running right over me like an eighteen-wheeler and I was left crying in the corner in a crappy mess of a person that couldn’t quite explain WHY I was crying just that I was.

But I’d say around Thursday, I started to feel a bit better.  By Friday, I was revived and optimistic and motivated.  I felt better, both emotionally and physically, and I was going to take advantage of that.

So my house is now clean and fresh smelling, thanks to it being 70 degrees here this weekend and us being able to open the windows wide.  Oh, and several obssesive trips to Bath and Body Works this week to find the perfect Spring scent for the house (this, in case you were wondering).  My car is also clean, inside and out and smells nice.  Even I personally smell like Spring/Summer because I went ahead and bought some Coconut Lime Verbena shampoo and conditioner (on sale for $5) which to me has always smelled like summer in a bottle.

I have made lists this weekend, in a new Moleskine graph ruled notebook that I bought specifically to keep my lists organized.  I have one for general tasks (like paying certain bills, making phone calls, etc.), one for house cleaning that is nearly complete, one for organization (i.e. places in the house I NEED to go through) and one for Spring cleaning, which I will probably start next weekend.

There’s also my list of stuff I need to buy (like a bathroom garbage can with a lid, for those who were following the dog debacle last weekend) and a list of meals that I can make with what food I have in the kitchen.  I’ll hang this up on the refrigerator and cross them off as we cook them.  I don’t like to make a specific meal plan, where Monday we have to eat, say, spaghetti, because my mood and taste changes depending on things, but I like to have an idea of what’s available.  Thankfully, I bought enough groceries last time to where we still have enough food for at least nine meals, not including Fridays since we’ve been going out as sort of a pseudo date night.

Regardless, this is why I make lists and obsses about each task that needs to get done, particularly those tasks that involve keeping my home.  I never feel better than when my house is clean, the pressing tasks are complete and I can just sit and enjoy doing nothing (or something, like reading a book or watching a TV) without feeling guilty about the things that I SHOULD be doing.

This probably means I have a problem.  I can be a bit obssesive.  But it really just forces me to focus on things – otherwise, I’d be all over the place.

I really, honestly and truly think one of the major things that helped was the sunshine and the temperatures this weekend.  Some good old fashioned Vitamin D and a cool breeze blowing into my windows always makes me feel better, like something brand new is right around the corner.  And I tell you, I CANNOT wait for March 8 so that I can still see a bit of that sunlight when I leave work in the evenings.

I don’t think I’ve ever had this bad of a case of the winter blues but it’s partly Charleston’s fault.  It feels like the better part of the past five or six months has been grey and dreary and just COLD.  I did not move here to be cold, thank you very much!

Regardless, this renewed sense of optimism has me dreaming big.  I will keep my house clean.  I will stay on top of the daily tasks.  I will excel at work.  I will spend more of my leisure time with the boyfriend and the dog.  I will generally just start to enjoy life again, rather than just going through the motions (it was truly a hard winter).

Now if only the sunshine complies!