I’m well aware that it’s January of 2010, four months after this post should have been put up. For some reason, I let even this drop off, at least the writing of it. I at least made lists over the past few months of what I wanted to write about it, so while I’m playing catch up on everything else in my life, I figured I might as well start with this category.
September was a month of new beginnings – football started, both professional and high school, which we attend a lot of because my brother plays. All the shows had their premieres and we got a break from summer TV. We had a lovely weekend for Steve’s birthday which we spent having dinner with friends on his actual birthday then heading back to Rioz, our favorite restaurant (all you can eat meat? Yes, please!). These events, among other things, made the month really fun and enjoyable.
Football
As I said, football started in September, both professional and high school. My brother plays offensive lineman for his high school B-team so we try to go to as many games as we can. Since they’re on Thursday nights at 6pm, we sometimes have a hard time making it to the away games but since his school is local to where we work, we typically go to all the home games. The team was really good this year – I believe they only lost two games out of twelve or thirteen and it’s really fun just cheering the team on and watching my brother get into the game and improve his skills over the years (he’s the kid in the far right of the picture above, leaping onto the kid in the purple jersey – number 55). Plus, Steve and I spend some time with my family and we get Chick-Fil-A sandwiches and watch the sun go down over the stadium and enjoy the cool autumn breeze.
College football is real big here in the South but I can’t get into it much. I much prefer professional football, especially if the Eagles are playing. But regardless, watching the game on TV or in person is one of the things I find most enjoyable about fall.
Fall TV
Fall is one of my favorite times of the year as far as entertainment goes because that’s when all the new shows premiere and all of my old favorites start back up again. I actually read into what the new shows are about and decide which ones I’m going to give a shot and which ones I want to pass on. I map out a calendar to make sure some of my favorites don’t overlap with new ones. I was especially excited this season for some of my favorites to return this fall: Sons of Anarchy, The Office, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Dexter. And I was excited for some of the new shows to start: Community and Modern Family, as well as The Vampire Diaries, which for anyone who hasn’t been following along all the years, is the fulfillment of one of my dreams because it’s based on a series by probably my most favorite author from my childhood.
Weeds
After Steve and I finished watching Dexter on Netflix, we were a little lost and wondering what new show we needed to start watching. I had heard quite a few good things about Weeds and thought we’d give it a shot and, well, I’m glad we did. I LOVE this show – love, love, love it! We’ve only watched up until the fourth season and are waiting until the fifth comes out on DVD, but I can say I’m mostly happy with how things are progressing. The fourth season was probably a bit weaker than the others but it’s still much better than anything you’d find on normal TV. It basically revolves around suburban soccer mom Nancy Botwin (played by Mary-Louise Parker, who is phenomenal in the role!) who is recently windowed and attempting to maintain her comfortable life with her two kids, Silas and Shane, by selling weed to all of the soccer moms and yuppies in her neighborhood. The series follows the hysterical trials and tribulations as Nancy finds herself constantly trying to balance right and wrong. Part of the appeal of this series is the supporting characters. Kevin Nealon is absolutely genius as Nancy’s pot-smoking town councilmen friend and business partner and Elizabeth Perkins is superb as Nancy’s “friend” whom she loves to hate. All in all, this is a great show and if you have a few hours over the weekend, you should definitely catch it (and it’s only half an hour so it’s easy to fly through).
Method Granite Cleaner
I had seen this cleaner at Target every time I went shopping for household cleaners and thought about trying it because it was the only thing I had seen that was specifically available for “granite” countertops (at least, at my Target and I hadn’t checked other stores). I had been cleaning the countertops with Windex all-purpose cleaner and I always noticed there was a slight haze on them. So, in an effort to try something else, I picked this up one day and well, I’m pretty glad I did. This virtually eliminated the haze on the counters and it smells really fresh and clean and not at all chemical. It’s now my go to cleaner for the countertops and is completely worth the extra bucks I spend on it (12 ounces is about $6).
Neutrogena Healthy Hands
I have been a long time user of this lotion but up until this fall, it was rather sporadic. However, with fall weather comes drier air and since I wash my hands a lot in the morning (putting on makeup, etc.), I would go into work and find them to be really dry. Since I always keep this at my desk, I would rub some on before getting to work and it was only after I was doing it on a daily basis that I realized how phenomenal this stuff really is. The lotion is a rather heavy, Vaseline type lotion but it’s not greasy at all. There is minimal scent to the lotion and once it goes on, it’s almost like your hands are waterproof for a good few hours, but not in a cumbersome way. I also noticed that it contributed greatly to healthy nail growth and now, within a few weeks, my nails are almost ridiculously long and get in the way. I love this lotion and always will and if you have any problems with dry hands, you should definitely give it a shot.
Evernote
Evernote! Oh, Evernote, I don’t know how I ever lived without it. I don’t exactly remember where I found it on the web but I started using this back in September as a catch all for everything from recipes to my to-do lists to ideas for blogs and the website. It’s so easy to use – you can create various notebooks and within each notebook, you can create different notes. It has a tagging system so you can easily find things. You can also share notebooks, which helped greatly when I was planning my mom’s birthday party because I was able to send my notes to my dad. I use this as a cookbook – I have a Loved Recipes notebook, where I keep ones that are our favorites, that I use over and over again and a To Try Recipes notebook, where I copy and paste recipes that I see around the web. I use this as an article storage system where I drop various things from my Google Reader for later reference (I star them and then input them every few weeks). The most wonderful thing about Evernote is the various ways you can access it – there’s a desktop application which is installed on my laptop – I use this for when I’m bulk entering articles and things I’ve saved from Google Reader (because it’s faster). There’s a web interface and a Firefox clipper plugin, both of which I use at work when I’m editing my lists and ideas or when I’m browsing the web and come across something I want to save (the clipper lets you select exactly what you want to save and click an icon which automatically inserts it into Evernote) and, best of all, an iPhone app, which lets me access my lists when I’m in the store (I use it for shopping lists) or lets me access my recipes when I’m cooking, so I don’t have to lug my laptop into the kitchen. Overall, this has helped me greatly organize my life and I use it so much that I’m probably going to have to upgrade to a paid account soon (it would be well worth it)!
So overall, September was a really good month! I felt like we had a lot of new beginnings and I got started on a great track to organizing my life. It was definitely a good month of new discoveries and good times.
Now that I feel all caught up with July’s post, it’s time to turn over a new leaf. I’m tossing around the idea of trying to post everyday for a month again, just to give myself another kick start. I’ve gotta do something. Got so, so, so many ideas rolling around in my head of stuff I want to write about and suss out and I just need to give myself a good kick in the butt.
But let’s end August and start of September the right way – with a monthly love post. There were SO MANY THINGS to love in August and I am thoroughly addicted to each and every one of them.
We kicked off August with STAYCATION! We were supposed to go to Pennsylvania but circumstances and finances didn’t work out so we decided to take a week off together and spend it in the Charleston area just relaxing and enjoying time sight seeing in our area and enjoying time together that we don’t normally get because we’re wrapped up in normal lives and when we do travel, we’re usually visiting friends and family. So we slept in and cooked dinner and baked food. We went fishing at the new Mt. Pleasant Pier (well, Steve fished, I read books all day on what turned out to be an absolutely BEAUTIFUL day!), watched a bunch of movies, drove around exploring the Lake Moultrie area, which we had never really been too, and even went to Savannah for the day. Overall, we had a great time and a much needed rest. It allowed me to recenter myself and reconnect with Steve and just overall have a wonderful time. It was such a great way to start off the month!
I can’t have a monthly love post without talking about food and I tell you what, I’ve had only ONE addiction this month: Whole Grain Goldfish crackers. I CANNOT get enough of these. Seriously, they are all I snack on these days and I’d like to say it’s because they’re like $2 a bag, but that doesn’t count when I can finish a bag in a day/night of snacking. I eat them at work, I eat them at home. That picture below is of my cabinet – those are FIVE bags that I just bought this weekend because they were cheap at Wal-Mart. What you do not see is the two packs of 9-bag snack packs at work or the countless number of bags that I have finished this month. I don’t know if it’s their cheesy, salty baked goodness or the whole grain, but something about these particular ones make them better than the original and it doesn’t hurt that they’re probably slightly better for me than the usual things I reach for, which is ice cream. Or Oreos!
Another discovery: Bacardi Puerto Rican RUM. I know, I know – it’s just rum and yes, I knew what it was long before this month. But I didn’t know I LIKED it until I didn’t have any wine one night and wanted a drink so I mixed it with Diet Dr. Pepper and damn, is it delicious! It has a nice, sweet, smoothness and it doesn’t give me a headache like hard liquor has previously done in the past. So hello, Bacardi, you are my new friend! Hope you like partying with goldfish because you’ll be seeing them in my stomach with you.
In the entertainment category, there’s nothing but Dexter! Holy shit, DEXTER! What an awesome, amazing show! We started watching it because others had recommended it and it was available on our Netflix Instant Queue and wow, why didn’t we hear about this show before? I have never wanted to root for a serial killer but I love Dexter. I love the stories, the mysteries and the unique and unpredictable twists and turns. I love the characters: Batista, LaGeurta, Masuka, even Quinn. I thought Jimmy Smits was phenomenal on the third season! (I hate, hate, hate Deb but I see her as a necessity to play against Dexter) And I’m so very excited for the fourth season. Seriously, if you are not watching Dexter, you should start. Right now! Like yesterday!
In the beauty category, I decided to try something new. I’ve been a Bare Minerals foundation user for about two years. I liked it because it was light and didn’t feel so heavy and cakey on my face. But this past month, I started noticing that the powder actually began to cake and settled into my pores and sometimes, it made my skin feel irritated. Plus, it was $25! So I decided to switch it up and picked up some Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse. I picked it up because they said it was good to help disguise large pores and it still provided the coverage of a liquid with the feel of a powder and man, am I glad I did. It definitely helped disguise the pores, the coverage is nice and even, it goes on softly and smooth and it makes my complexion look flawless. It is my new love and is even cheaper than the Bare Minerals but about $15. So that’s make it all worth it!
There was also a rediscovery this month. A rekindling of a flame, per se, with my Canon 50mm f1.4 lens. I bought this lens when I originally bought my camera, forgoing the kit lens for this one at the advice of many others. I used it as my primary lens in the beginning but a 50mm focal length was hard for me to get used, having jumped for a point and shoot that had a wide zoom lens and focal length. So I bought a cheap 18-55mm kits lens to allow myself the ability to get more in the picture and began to rely heavily on that one because I hadn’t gotten used to 50mm yet. But I went back, because overall the 50mm is faster, has a crispier focus and does bokeh and depth of field wonderfully. And I’m so happy I did because I do love this lens so much! It’s going to take some getting used to again but I think I can handle. Practice makes perfect right?
And that’s about it! There are some other guilty pleasures, like the Real Housewives of Atlanta, the joys of cooking and baking goodies in my own home and coupon clipping from the Sunday paper (because, holy crap, they have coupons and great savings, in the PAPER! I would always look online and it never even occurred to me to look where women have been looking for years! DUH!) but I don’t find them guilty at all because I thoroughly enjoyed them and didn’t feel bad about it all.
Overall, August was a great month with wonderful finds! Here’s hoping to a productive and fun September. I can’t believe it’s three quarters of the way through the year. And I seriously, cannot wait for FALL!
I want a chill in the air, hoodies, sweaters and jeans!
June was a very chaotic month for me. Yet somehow, in the midst of the chaos, I still managed to find quite a few things to love and some of these things helped me get through the month without having even the smallest form of nervous breakdowns, despite wanting to.
Without further ado, here’s the things I loved the most for the month of June.
Hands down, the best event for me, was a visit to my hometown of Siler City, North Carolina to visit my grandparents, my dad, my sisters and other family members. The weekend we went was their 50th anniversary and while the trip was not without drama (truthfully a visit with my family can’t really occur without a bit of the dramatics), we had a very nice time overall. We took my grandparents out to breakfast at their favorite restaurant on Saturday morning with my eight year old cousin, T, in tow. It was just them, T and Steve and I, at this restaurant owned by a distant member of the family once or twice removed or something like that. Regardless, the food was delicious, down home Southern cooking just the way I like it and the tea was cold and sweet the way we like it as well. Afterwards, we visited with my great-aunt and uncle (my grandmother’s sister and husband) who own a welding & crane company, have a small short track racing team and a fleet of old school (and one new school) Corvettes in their garage, which is actually bigger than Steve’s shop at work. The rest of the day we spent with my dad, my grandpa and my cousin, and my brother and sisters, fishing and riding four wheelers out at an aunt’s pond, eating Sir Pizza for dinner (which is hands down one of my favorite pizzas ever!) and hanging out around a fire at my dad’s place out in the country. On Sunday, we took my brother to buy some “professional” clothes for grown-up interviews and then went out to lunch together at the local seafood restaurant that I remember so clearly from when I was young. Overall, it was a low-key weekend with its ups and downs but sometimes, it’s nice to come back to a simpler place and enjoy the easy things in life where we don’t spend a lot of money and just enjoy being around each other. Siler City has changed so much over the years and unfortunately, is going more down hill than I like to see but there are still remnants of the small town USA that I remembered so much about it and part of me loves the nostalgia of just going home and being with family. And seeing beautiful sights like these always helps too!
My entertainment world has been rather busy this month.
On June 1st, Conan O’Brien took over The Tonight Show and this was a long anticipated event for me. I had nothing against Jay Leno, he was just a bit dry for my taste. I love Conan and sometimes found myself staying up way too late to catch him on the Late Show. Now, I can catch him at 11;30 and the show has yet to disappoint me. The monologues, the skits (I particularly loved when he visit local stores in his new neighborhood and took over the tram ride at the studios), even the guests. It’s definitely now my cup of tea and I’m glad they picked him to step into Jay’s shoes (I always thought he deserved it anyway – he’s up there with Jon Stewart for me).
Also on TV this month, True Blood returned and some of you might remember, I featured this show in my very first monthly love post and it gets a second mention here because my obsession has not waned, it has only grown stronger. I have read the first two books in the series and we are now on the second season and it only gets better. I find Sookie to be a much more enjoyable human female role model and heroine than the other vampire books (I’m looking at you, Twilight!) and even the side characters in the series are so wonderfully and richly developed that they make almost all the storylines enjoyable (I find Lafayette to be one of the best characters on TV right now and am so glad they brought him back this season instead of having him meet the same fate as his literary equivalent). This is one of those shows that I gladly look forward to Sunday nights for so I can sit down with some dinner and my blanket and a full uninterrupted hour of vampires and shapeshifters and sex and blood and humor and hot, hot, hot men (Bill, Eric, Jason … need I say more?)
The hands down best movie of the month was The Hangover. You could just see the thought process behind it – let’s take four randomly different guys, bring them all together in Vegas for a bachelor party and give them the greatest night of their lives but the worst hangover ever. So simple but so very complicated as they spend the entire weekend looking for the groom, whom they have somehow lost (and that was actually one of the more enjoyable moments of the film because I thought that where and how he was lost was going to turn out to be so outlandishly unbelievable that it ruined the movie but in reality, it was so very simple and believable that I thought it tied everything together nicely). But seriously, there’s tigers and hookers and gambling and drinking and chickens and a baby and Mike Tyson. And Bradley Cooper. And Andy, from The Office. And Zack Galfinakis (I don’t know if that’s how he spells his name and don’t care – he’s hysterical in this film). And did I mention Bradley Cooper? A very HOT Bradley Cooper! Overall, this was one of those funny, hysterical, quotable movies that will be added to the repertoire and the DVD shelf from now until forever.
And finally, there’s Bejeweled 2, which I’ve played numerous time before but somehow got really, really addicted to this month. I play it on Facebook as Bejewled Blitz and I swear, that one’s going to give me a heart attack because you have one minute to get the highest score possible and the stress of it all makes me insane sometimes. I also downloaded the app onto my iPod Touch and have spent numerous nights in bed playing it while I wasn’t tired enough to fall asleep. I took it with me to the doctor’s office and played it in the waiting room and to North Carolina. I’ve had to force myself to stop playing. But it’s so awesome so can you really blame me?
So those were my pleasures for the month of June which were perfectly wonderful because they helped me get through a fairly rough month. Here’s hoping July is a bit quieter!
May was quite a month. We had quite a few endings and some new beginnings. And any month that has new food discoveries is always a good month!
For starters, this guy right here graduated college. This is my younger brother, Eric. In the beginning of May, Steve and I got really early one Saturday morning to drive an hour and a half to Myrtle Beach to watch him walk across that podium at Coastal Carolina University and receive his college diploma. Everyone in our family had come to celebrate – my mom and stepdad and other brother, my grandma, dad and younger sister and my cousins. We were all very proud of him and we had a really, really good day afterwards gathering at a hotel right on the beach and eating food and cake and opening presents and swimming in the pool and watching the sunset over the water. We went home exhausted but overall, it was a throughly enjoyable time with family to celebrate such a long anticipated event. Congrats kiddo! Welcome to the real world!
Secondly, the beauty below now belongs to me! That’s right, I finally paid off my car loan after five long years. She’s stuck by me for five years, four accidents (only two my fault), thousands of miles and an interstate move all the while running awesomely and giving me great gas mileage. This actually if the first time I’ve ever paid off a car and damn does it feel good. That picture below was taken exactly five years ago as of tomorrow and that was when she was pristine and beautiful. Now, she’s broken in and lived in with some minor wear and tear but overall, she’s still hanging in there. Let me stop before she kicks the bucket on me which is the last thing I need. Anyway, it feels good to now own the car and have that burden of payment off my shoulders.
In the food category, there’s a restaurant called Mellow Mushroom that we recently discovered. I’d had lunch delivered from there before but it was only when we actually went back to eat there this month that I realized how awesome they are (I ate there twice and just talking about it makes me want to go back). The first time I had a steak and cheese calzone but when I tried Steve’s ham, it was delicious. The ham had amazing flavor to it and the dough is phenomenal. So the next time, I got a ham and pineapple calzone and it was just as delicious, though I think I will go without the pineapple next time. Regardless, we’ve tried both the downtown location and the Mt. Pleasant location and while downtown seems more like a local pizza joint as opposed to Mt. Pleasant’s more commercial feeling, the food is still delicious. Next on the list to try is their pizza!
Also on the docket this month is banana splits. I happened to see a commercial for a local ice cream place a few weeks back where these kids ordered this amazingly beautiful banana split and immediately, I had a craving for one. So the next time I was at the store, I picked up some Breyer’s neopolitan ice cream, some Smucker’s caramel and chocolate syrup, some bananas and a praline crunch type nut mix. And soon enough, I had this:
It may not be pretty, but it was so very delicious. No cherries for this girl but looking back, I should have gotten whip cream as well. I think the praline nut crunch definitely made the sundae. Now I’m all out and I’m going to have to go back to the store to get some supplies. Maybe I’ll have an ice cream sundae party, just as an excuse. Oh who am I kidding, I don’t need an excuse to eat ice cream.
As for TV, the only thing I’ve really been watching besides Rescue Me is The Real Housewives of New Jersey and OH MY GAWD! I have such a problem. I cannot stop watching this show. Even when reruns are on I can’t help but watching. Now I loved the Atlanta housewives but not like I love the Jersey girls. I don’t know if it’s because they remind me of friends and family or if the locale and attitudes and stereotypes make me feel at home but I can’t get enough of them. From Caroline’s ‘thick as thieves’ family mentality to Teresa’s unforgiving ostentatiousness to Dina’s quietly smiling in your face while judging you silently to Jacqueline’s overall sweetness is such a cutthroat nasty state, I love them all. Except Danielle. She disgusts me. She’s everything that’s wrong with women and her face is hideous. I mean seriuosly, what is up with the eyebrows. And the clinginess. You are a grown woman! Go out and take care of yourself and stop clinging to all those other women like the airbrushed t-shirt you got on the boardwalk that is two sizes too small for you. Overall though, this show makes me summer and I unabashedly admit that it is my guilty pleasure. If that makes me somehow worse of a person, it don’t matter to me.
An honorable mention goes to season finales of many of the shows that I watch. I like TV alot and sometimes it’s nice to have a forced break from watching the latest Grey’s Anatomy or Heroes episodes. Granted, there are plenty of new shows on this summer to keep me busy but there are much fewer which make catching up nice and easy while still allowing us time to enjoy our summer nights.
Finally, the old school geek in me can’t help but rave about both the Star Trek and Terminator: Salvation movies. While I was never a huge fan of the original Star Trek (I was more of a Next Generation girl), I knew enough about it to want to see the latest incarnation. To say it was awesome was an understatment. I walked out of there all geeked out and hyped up to see another one with this entourage of characters. And Terminator! Oh lord, I remember when the first two were big (the stupid third one doesn’t even get an honorable mention, it was that stupid) and awesome and just wow and this one certainly lived up to the older ones. The story was awesome, the characters were great (though I could do without Christian Bale using his Batman voice all gravely and hoarse – is that how he thinks Americans speak?) and I just might have developed a bit of a crush of Sam Worthington. So needless to say, I had some very geeked out moments this month in the movie theaters and am looking forward to the continuation of both of these franchies in the future.
So overall, May was a fairly good month. There were a few low points as there always are but that’s just life. Now I’m just looking for a quiet June with some dinners and movies and outings planned with some friends and some more time spent with family. Summer is always a nice time around these parts so I’m sure next month I’ve tons of things to rave about!
Happy June everyone!
I have a problem. I’m lazy.
(Wait, didn’t you already publish this post? Yes, see above … I am lazy. So lazy I recycle thoughts.)
But no, seriously. This is why I don’t exercise. This is why, in the past, I have bought a new pack of underwear instead of washing the dirty ones (in my defense, this was also when I lived in apartment and had to go to the laundromat). This is why I sometimes go at least a week without doing dishes.
(I am, apparently, also a slob. But in my defense, I am a packrat and therefore have enough clothes to not wear the same thing for at least a month, despite the fact that I prefer wearing only about 2% of my closet. I also have enough dishes that I can eat at least a week and a half worth of dinners and not run out of plates or silverware. Plus, there’s always paper. And also, I rinse all my dishes obsessively before I let them sit that long. Because caked on food = gross!)
ANYWAY! Me = lazy. Yes, we’ve established that. I am perfectly happy to enter a slothlike state and stayed curled up on my couch under my soft, fuzzy polyester blanket downing Diet Dr. Pepper (or in my pre-blood clot days, a whole bottle of wine. WHAT?) and watching TiVoed episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey and Rock of Love Bus (again .. WHAT?!).
And this is a problem because being lazy means I never follow through with anything. Which is even more strange because someone I respected greatly told me a few weeks ago that he was more than sure I would get something done because I am a very determined person. I took this as a compliment and still do though when I put it in writing it makes me second guess whether or not I was being complimented or insulted. (Because he might have just been saying that I was a big enough bitch to get what I want so people could get me off their backs!)
Maybe lazy is a bad word. Maybe overstimulated is better. Because I am the first person to go out and get what I need done when I need it. I am a sucker for instant gratification.
I just don’t have the time to do everything I want to do to the fullest extent. As I said in the last post, I am also a perfectionist which means that unless I can do something absolutely correct, I am not interested in it. Or I get so freaking stubborn about it that I vow to not let something that they pay people $.15 an hour to do defeat me (note: I’m talking about sewing or making clothes or shit like that and that is solely hyperbole). And then I don’t have the time to keep doing it over and over and I get frustrated and throw everything down in a huff and let it sit for weeks on end before returning to it only to start the vicious cycle over again.
I taught myself to knit in February. And by that I mean, I can make a row of random knit and purl stitches, the standard stitches required to make a scarf. Or a potholder. I have yet to master anything advanced, like circular needles or increasing stitches or anything that requires more than one skein/color of yarn. It’s not that I don’t enjoy it because I really do like it. It’s just I kept getting so frustrated because I would get distracted and mess up the pattern so badly I’d have to pull stitches out and then I give up because it wasn’t perfect. And by god, what was the point of doing it if it wasn’t perfect. So I put it aside for awhile and will probably pick it up again, maybe. I guess I need to get to a point where I know enough for it to be relaxing.
Then there’s the video games that I buy and never finish. I’m talking big games like Oblivion that require months of playing time to small games like Guitar Hero, which I could most likely do in a weekend. But again, I am not satisfied unless I beat them and technically, I need to beat them perfectly with all bases covered and all acheivements awarded. Because otherwise, I might miss something important! LIKE LIFE CHANGING IMPORTANT!
And don’t get me started on the books I have to read. Currently, there are twelve books in my office that I have yet to start. TWELVE! And yet I keep buying them or checking them out of the library, whichever suits my fancy that week. That means I can average one book a month and have something to read for a year. Or TWO books a month and still be good for six months. But if I sit down to read, I end up getting so engrossed, like I need to finish it right now this very moment because it is that awesome and then I feel worthless for not doing anything else that night.
Oh, and the TV. Oh my goodness! I thought the Tivo would solve my problems because I could watch all of shows whenever I wanted. But it has only served to deepen my anxiety over what I am missing. I record anything that looks remotely interesting and then I get hooked on stupid shit and then feel the need to follow all the way through to the end because again, WHAT IF I MISS LIKE THE GREATEST SHOW EVER?! I have been trying to be more aggressive with my show selection and I even deleted the last two episodes of Celebrity Apprentice (because I had already read on TVGasm who won and was mad that Jesse James didn’t make it into the final two solely because he didn’t feel like exploiting his marriage just for Trump’s stupid show and ratings) and the final episode of Top Model (because I tell myself I am over it and yet end up watching EVERY. SEASON. but was over this one halfway through). But there is still random stuff that just piles up and I am afraid to delete it because I will watch it someday, anyday and I need to know what happen (and I do this knowing that the last season of Prison Break will eventually make it’s way to DVD).
Don’t forget the photography and the need to sort through and edit the five million pictures I take until their perfect. The cross-stitching and the numerous times of starting over and ripping out stitches. The lists I obsessively make of movies I want to see and when they are coming out and the new DVD releases that week. The magazine reading and always playing catch up on my issues (I only have three subscriptions). This website.
This even extends to my actual life. My house doesn’t need to be perfect all of the time but when I do clean (about once a week or so), I do it hardcore. I make lists to catalog all of the things that need to be taken care of right now. I spend days and weeks picking out the perfect presents for people. I am almost always down for anything that our friends want to do, particularly if there’s something new involved (unless extenuating circumstances keep us from it). Even my grocery shopping is affected by the perfectionism, the need to buy only the things we will use for meals we will eat and get a great deal out of it.
All of this is almost a sport to me. If I can check things off my list, I feel accomplished. I get an adrenaline rush going to the grocery store and seeing what I can buy on the budget I set. I walk around with a huge grin for a week if I can finish a hobby or a chore that I’ve set out to do.
But there’s also the opposite. I feel guilty if things go undone for a certain length of time. I can never sit and just enjoy sitting because I always have this nagging that I could be doing other productive things. I feel like the books and the video games and Tivo are screaming at me to read me, watch me, play me. I feel like if I don’t see the tourist attractions in my town, they are going to pack up and leave without me having ever seen them.
It takes a lot for me to step back, take a deep breath and just CHILL THE HELL OUT.
It is not the end of the world. And many of you are probably thinking, so give it up! Give it all up and don’t worry about it!
But I enjoy it all. I really, really do and if that makes me shallow and materialistic and vapid and any other word you want to throw at me, then so be it because overall, I know there are many other places in my life where I do valuable and intellectual things and am so overworked on those things that they are the exact reason I can enjoy the shallow and vapid parts of life. And because of that I don’t want to give it up.
Besides, if I did, then I might miss out of the GREATEST (insert cool things here) EVER!
I just need a balance. I need to figure out how to do all of the things I want to do, PERFECTLY, in the time that I have to do them.
I think the only feasible way to do that is to quit my job and find a sugar daddy. And then I could be lazy and slothlike and be a professional hobbyist for the rest of my life.
I’d be totally lying if I said that would be the greatest thing ever because I would probably get bored and feel worthless because I’m not contributing to society or my own well being.
So for now I guess I’ll just settle with being overstimulated and lazy and live with the guilt trip that I’m just going to have to either be busy or miss out on some things.
Just make sure to inform me if you think some thing is the GREATEST EVER so I don’t miss out.
(And I think I’m ending this post here … WordPress is already saying it’s 1735 words long and I can’t figure out how to end it on a witty note and that’s why I never became a writer like I wanted to. Plus, I’ve got a book I want to start and a Daisy of Love episode that I need to fit in as well as some Facebooking and Twittering awaiting. This is what you get when I start removing the filter people!!!!)
